Finding Opportunities in Conflict -- How to Communicate Effectively When Friction Disrupts High Stakes Relationships: Interview with Lisa Stokes Nicholas | Episode 81

In today’s world, we are set up for polarization. How do we turn our 5-alarm fights into something more constructive?

Conflict for many is unpleasant at best. Often when conflict is particularly intense or prolonged in high stakes relationships, the psychological pain can be excruciating. As humans, when we experience things that cause pain we tend to escape, avoid or react. On one hand, retreating from the “threat” of conflict means we stuff it down and pretend nothing is wrong and resentments can smolder into contempt. On the other hand reacting usually results in us saying or doing things that we regret or puts us in an escalating pattern.

In this episode I speak with culture and nonviolent communication expert Lisa Stokes Nicholas. She shares tools you can use in your work and personal life to move from conflict to curiosity.

SBI Graphic.jpg
Lisa Stokes Nicholas headshot.png

About Lisa Stokes Nicholas

Lisa Stokes Nicholas, President of Kavi Consulting Services brings 25 years of nonprofit management and consulting experience to each engagement.  This extensive background, blended with her training in mindfulness and nonviolent communication has provided a unique blend of guidance and support resulting in significant improvements within domestic and international organizations serving multiple sectors including: advocacy; education; faith communities; food security; healthcare; hospice; information technology; government; security; sustainable energy; technology; and travel.

Prior to founding Kavi Consulting Services, Lisa was the Director of Strategic Restructuring for Planned Parenthood Federation of America where she developed and implemented restructuring initiatives for the federated organization with combined assets of more than $1billion and more than 100 affiliates in 50 states and led negotiations with senior leaders from more than 60 organizations.

In addition, Lisa has worked with a multitude of organizations to strengthen their governance processes, create strategic plans, or move from crisis to sustainability. During this process Lisa has served as a coach to many individuals.

 

Show Notes:

Kavi Consulting Services: https://www.kaviconsultingservices.com/

Kavi Culture and Conflict Tools https://www.kaviconsultingservices.com/culture-conflict

Kavi Conflict Blogs https://www.kaviconsultingservices.com/blog

Life and Work with Lisa Stokes Nicholas: http://voyagedenver.com/interview/life-work-lisa-stokes-nicholas/

2 Short SBI Videos:

From the Center for Creative Leadership: "Use Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) to Understand Intent"

https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/closing-the-gap-between-intent-and-impact/

Empathy Guess Exercise

http://mindfulneeds.com/exercises/empathy_exercises/

Nonviolent Communication Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L3rBTChHs8

Nonviolent Communication: How To Get Your Point Across https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCbxAMgfkkM

Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success | Louise Evans | TEDxGenova

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BZuWrdC-9Q

Is Your Organization Digging Trenches or Building Bridges? (2021). Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2021/01/is-your-organization-digging-trenches-or-building-bridges

Graphic to Share

Please, feel free to share this graphic. All we ask is that you link back to this podcast.

Rumi Meet in Field.png